Trying to get pregnant can turn into infertility. It’s a big statement.
You are wanting to have a child.You have tried naturally for the suggested time. Your wonderful connective sexual relationship is gradually repurposed into baby-making and now you are needing medical help.
Can the very technology invented to get us pregnant be adding to infertility? It is a contributing factor with some couples. Attitude is impacting aptitude.
This information is not for the majority of couples desiring to conceive. There are many couples having awesomely satisfying sexual union in the hope of falling pregnant.
I’m also not laying blame on fertility services. What we are witnessing globally is a phenomenon of dumbing and numbing ourselves away from innate, empowered sexuality and fertility.
Let me make a distinction between medical infertility and developing an infertile mindset. Medical infertility is the inability to reach a clinical pregnancy in over twelve months of having unprotected sex.
Today I am writing about developing an infertile mindset.
A shift in consciousness occurs. When we believe we are unable to conceive, it becomes the reality.
We have the capacity to reproduce ourselves. We have the innate intelligence to tap into our regenerative, recreative energy. If we take a magnifying glass into our bodies we will see millions of processes giving birth and creating new life within us. Our cells. Our hair, nails, skin just to name a few.
Reproduction is at an all-time high at every millisecond of our existence. And yet, many couples fall into a mindset of infertility.
Media driven consumerism, overworked, drive through options have all been culprits to numbing our bodies.
When our health is compromised and our body is not doing what it’s meant to do, we take ourselves into self-criticism. We think we don’t work or function properly. Feelings of deflation rise and we look too quickly into outside services telling us what is wrong.
But in its simplicity, creating space to feel and explore your body is what is required to make lifestyle changes. And faith.
Only last week a woman shared that she was married for three short months and trying to conceive when she ushered herself and her partner to IVF. Prior to that her two year relationship endorsed contraception. She panicked, felt an overwhelming flaw in their performance and sought IVF.
It wasn’t long before they started to relate their sexual life and relationship through the sterile petri dish of a laboratory. And not long after that, sex was minimal.
At a leading fertility hospital in Melbourne, I worked on a pilot program, helping patients with lifestyle factors fitness and nutrition. I saw the immense value of using science (pathology tests) to
create change in people. And I witnessed the power of human will. The will to change to optimise health.
Using information from pathology we tracked a woman’s reproductive health. It was amazing to help people turn their lives around using this empowering information. The pathology became the invitation for change.
But more recently I have worked with couples needing fertility and intimacy coaching to enhance their relationship dynamic, not pathology reports. After trying to conceive for endless years and on endless cycles of fertility assisted therapies. Sadly they are no longer having sex.
Couples trying to get pregnant who are not having sex is on the rise.
This is alarming. It’s a hidden psychosomatic trend that will grow if it’s not exposed and managed.
A long way down the fertility tunnel, these couples lose the lustre of intimacy by turning sex into a baby-making activity. They’re shut off from the entire sexual experience; loving flow, feelings and even the afterglow. The plight has become more about one sperm needing to dash to the finish line. There is a loss of libido due to long stints with assisted therapies. With the mindset of “What’s the point?”
Psychologically this takes its toll on a relationship. Neither partner wants to be used for sex, even if it is for creating new life. So sex is shut off in order to preserve oneself.
If you could rebirth yourself knowing what you know would you choose parents who had the spark of love, respect and care? Or a couple shut off from their intimacy? What future do you want to create for your family? The top three wants are to birth a life of love, peace and joy. yet sexless relationships birth the opposite.
People will keep the sacredness of their sex to themselves if it becomes a pawn for baby making.We know on average IVF cycles are around $15K plus. That’s a hefty ransom on sex over time.
Especially when sex is free. Natural conception is free.
What does it cost a couple to create a child? A lot more than money it seems. Intimacy, connection, trust the body’s ability and sanity.
We need education and reform here. Couples need to know this is a possibility and how to avoid getting to this point.
The reasons are plenty. A child may not enter your life, and you may be left both childless and sexless.
Thriving families need thriving relationships and thriving relationships require intimacy. You are the first sex education teacher your child will experience. If the intimacy is not there, the growing baby will feel it.
Infertile mindsets can be changed. Assisted therapies have their place in just that ‘assisting”. But they do not replace the natural dynamic flow of human connectedness.
Don’t allow a lack of intimacy to sterilise your life. A satisfying life and relationships are rights and rites to joyous living and a recipe to happy families.