Have you been searching the web hoping to find an inspiring woman’s story on her plight to motherhood? Do you find yourself reading a story and nodding your head and feeling the emotions like the story has been written for you?
Meet Di of Victoria Australia, a woman I talked to a few months ago with an extraordinary journey of becoming a mother. I recall strongly wishing for her that she would have a life without cycles for a while. No IVF cycles, and no more heartbreak cycles.When a couple has endured 7 years of trying 
to conceive, 5 and 1/2 on IVF and 20 cycles – mostly fresh cycles, 1 IUI 3 cycles using donor eggs.. Including 3 miscarriages – 1 natural and 2 IVF the emotional cost is phenomenal. When I spoke with Di she bowed down in saying she only had one last chance at a donor egg and was going to give up trying to have a baby after this.
Whoa, 20 cycles! 20! If you are trying to conceive and are on assisted fertility treatment you will know that Di is being modest in the treatments, drugs and processes she has subjected herself to. After the above stats presented themselves it seemed odd to ask the question of whether Di and her husband have been stressed and anxious about becoming pregnant, but I did and Di graciously responded saying how stressed she was over the years but decided to truly believe that what will be will be.
Rarely has there been anything she didn’t say no to. A woman with a dream, hope and inspiration to keep going. A woman whose love for her husband and love for new life was her epicentre.
Doctors and health care professionals have learned so much from Di as she tried so many different modalities and treatments. I mentioned to Di at the time that one of her big journeys was her plight to try research modalities and couples everywhere would than her for all that she has tried, tested and complied with. The effect that this lady has had in the fertility arena will never quite be qualified.
I wondered what coping strategies and support networks she had that helped her. She had been seeing a counselor through Monash IVF on and off for the past 3 years. Di recalls “she has been amazing in helping me deal with situations that I am not comfortable with and also developing tools to cope with my fertility issues”. It can’t be under estimated how important it is to have emotional support during this time. I urge you if you don’t have support and you are feeling despondent to reach out for assistance. Another helpful support network was getting involved with a very small group of ladies on Facebook 3 years ago that helped her through some very tough and intense couple of years.
Here is the link my facebook page. Drop by and keep up to date with fertility news, tips and general health and wellness. There is also a closed group community that can be accessed by working with me. You are never alone!
Jasmine – an angel adorning the life of her parents
When I asked Di if she avoided certain celebrations or feel uncomfortable around certain celebrations she replied “I very rarely go to baby showers or 1st birthdays and generally try to keep away from Children’s birthday parties. I found that the pay back from trying to keep it together during these types of celebrations would leave me too depressed for sometimes many days afterwards”. This is a natural reaction for many, especially mother’s day, father’s day and Christmas also feature higher on the events most likely to avoid. There is a great article on surviving Christmas with a refreshing insight and a quirky delivery!
Below are more honest heart centered responses to questions that I know you have been asking youself
Have you tried assisted therapies and natural modalities? What haven’t I tried!! I have done naturopathy, reflexology, hypnotherapy, reiki, energy clearing, fertility yoga and probably more I have forgotten. I have found an amazing and very supportive acupuncturist who has been helping me for almost 2 years, and feel that this has been the most helpful.
What has given you the most faith and hope in a pathway to parenthood? This one is hard as I probably gave up on becoming a parent earlier this year. We had only 2 transfers left with IVF (donor Embryo) and the success rates are about 15%. My husband and I had started to focus on life after IVF, so that when it all finished, we could switch to ‘Auto Pilot’ while we tried to climb out of the darkness of never being parents.
What affect has this had on your husband? He is an amazing support; he has been my rock through the whole process and will keep going for as long as I want to continue (although I know if it was up to him, we would have finished 2 years ago).
What advice can you share with other couples hoping to become parents? Ask questions of knowledgeable people. Don’t listen to well-meaning people with their ‘miracle’ stories – they are almost always 10th hand and never factual. Every couple’s situation is different, so do what’s right for you, because at the end of the day, you need to be comfortable with what you do.
Di’s story can be compared to a book of plight, a dream and full of hope. It’s a story where chapter after chapter you turn the pages and yet another setback unfolds. You wonder how two people can endure so much and you are in awe of how a love can be sustained and grow from strength to strength. As you keep coming back to the chapters you still have hope that the tone of the story will reach a happy ending. Di ended the interview with one last question I asked of her-
Is there anything else you wish to share? On what was to be our 2nd last IVF cycle (and our first donor embryo cycle after being on the waiting list for donor embryo’s for 2 years) we have finally become pregnant. I am currently 8 weeks 6 days pregnant and have seen a healthy heartbeat on 2 ultrasounds. I am still very nervous but for the first time in a long time, I feel that we might become parents and the feeling is totally amazing.
Isn’t that just beautiful to read and be a part of! A life without cycles and the only cycle to celebrate is the one of carrying new life. Where the miracle of a mother and unborn baby unite. I can only hope that the faith in Di’s story will inspire you to keep believing, keep trying and feel deep within with what resonates with you. If you feel drawn to share your story Id love to hear from you. Please contact Helen and we can chat
Its now April 2014 and Jasmine is nearly 4 months. She was born premature and what started off as a shaky start saw the same love faith and devotion nurture her baby into full health.
Fertility blessings,
Helen
