Ahisma – My personal journey of consciousness.
My consciousness has changed with age and experience. It isn’t something that I developed overnight or was taught in one lesson. It’s a skill that I fine-tuned via awareness, deep experiences and emotions ranging from ecstasy to despair; from loss to opportunities; from love to hate. Every emotion has a polar opposite and we are here to experience the vastness of emotions in our human body to awaken our consciousness into a deeper way of being.
There come many points in my life where I spring lean my value system. Checking in to feel what is redundant due to others influences and conditioning, what is core to me and what I want to stand for in the here and now to step me into my future of true power to create a life of passion, joy and purpose.
I was raised in a suppressive family where emotions were seen as weak, life was to be led for family honour in society’s eyes, and fears around judgment, society shame and disconnect was the reference point in parenting. And my parents weren’t to know any different. If they didn’t want to challenge themselves in their reawakening then they won’t know any different – as frustrating as it is for me.
Healing with love
The fear of hail stones was present for me as I was taught to believe that if they hit you 10 times in the head you would die – so whenever there was a hailstorm on my way home from school I would question why my parents were at home by the fire and not driving to pick me up. My fear of spiders was prevalent too, and I made up a story in my mind that if they cross my path, they have to die as the world knows that I fear them….and slowly slowly I came to realise that life is not something to be feared, not a place to come and play small in the world. An existence of crippled in fear is an existence of a death sentence – a place where you attract fear on the conscious level and play it out in different stories in your life.
The Way to Freedom
My evocation on my existence came knowing and embracing that everything that exists has a right to be here, and we are custodians of the earth ensuring that we live here with minimal impact on Mother Nature. And at as a young teenager I started to question peoples beliefs where I sensed came from a place of fear. And I began to have a relationship with the food that I ate and how my choices would nourish and support my body – and how the life cycle of the food and the relationship to the earth exists. This has enabled me to change my eating habits so I can introduce food that carries more vitality and less impact on the world we live. The truth is, the food industry would be half out of business if we ate only what our body requires and we ate from the farm and not the factory. It doesn’t need to be an antidote to emotional frustration.
Being kinder to myself and allowing myself to feel the full depth of my emotions and give them a voice has enabled me to find deeper parts of myself to love. Loving-kindness comes easier when it’s a state of being as opposed to a donation made to a charity or a random act. These incidents were the stepping stone in opening my heart and living from this space
Wake up: A guide to living your life consciously
Conscious living is a value, it cannot be measured against someone else’s beliefs and way of life. Neal Donald Walsh says “A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation”
Free will is what we are all about. There are so many cultures and relationships which are choked by people not exercising their free will. This leads to a chaining of the soul, including our own and full consciousness is hard to maintain in this space. It sounds simple, but there are still many people living on autopilot as they do not know or experience anything different.
It’s not easy to changes our lives, to break out of our routines, to begin to live the lives we want. It takes wilful effort, energy and constant vigilance to think about our choices … all of them.
Living consciously is about taking control of your life. It’s about thinking about your decisions rather than making them without a thought. It’s about having a life that we want rather than settling for the one that befalls us.
