Would you agree that any foreseeable change you endeavour demands your attention, diligence and your joy barometer to be on? Leaving anything to chance or to tomorrow may leave your New Year inspiration in the insurmountable get to basket.
As last year drew to a close, I found myself bringing vulnerable conversations to the surface with my beloved. It wasn’t the December month ticking over. Nor the New Year clicking over and needing flippant resolutions to put a feather in my cap. My heart and soul were calling to be heard. And I felt my identity within the relationship changing.
Applying simple concepts of heartfelt conversation, listening with both ears and speaking from truth, what I felt was becoming a big issue ended up being a deeply enriching communion of our relationship growing.
Our agreement didn’t start and end with a string of words. There is promise from both to create change in the coming months. And I feel the newness in the clarity of our ongoing communication.
Do you find that with your relationship? A niggling issue of the past is slowly brewing up into a bigger issue that fogs your daily mind?
Leaving matters of the heart un-rested can create feelings of anxiety, overwhelm and fear of not being understood. And the dynamic is felt by your partner. Thinking that you are carrying the burden alone can be foolish.
Foolish because your presence changes, and it is felt. Foolish because one may start to express their will through intimidating ways or diminishing the other person.
If you are experiencing a cycle of change in your relationship, I suggest you develop your awareness behind the feelings that are stirring within.
Develop your vocal power and awareness of when you shut down, play small or censor yourself. This is a pattern that is emerging to be changed. Left unattended, and the power struggle will emerge. The longer it plays out, more unravelling will need to take place.
Vocal confidence will increase your ability to speak with authenticity. If you feel this isn’t your strong point, help from me is a Skype or personal visit away.
Too often I see couples and singles where their unspoken and unattended thoughts leave them in a state of dis-ease and dissatisfied in life. Too often at social gatherings people bitch and moan about their dissatisfied ways only to have another year tick over. No change. More of the same.
It’s time to revolutionise your relationship dynamic. Move from feeling despondent into the natural flow of loving. Raise the loving flow in your life. It’s time. Feel your ripeness and readiness for juicier flowing love.
Break down what is the matter at hand. And remind yourself that you both matter. Situations that create conversation towards loving flow and depth are mere stepping stones to fulfilling relationships. You both have a piece of the puzzle that will help each other see a new perspective and live in an aligned way.
Collaborate with your partner. Do it in different ways. There are different languages of love. Different ways to offer change. Use your words, your actions, and your time and gift each other with presence.
Be in truth – always. Make this a non-negotiable for you. You don’t have to say everything you are thinking. But acknowledging your inner truth will help clarify your expression and make for a sustainable outcome. And in the spirit of truth, accept your partner’s view on the situation.
Accept and ask for solitude. Make alone time ok where necessary. Many couples break into a sweat or freak out if one wants some alone time. Trust in the aloneness, as clarity can prevail.
Introduce date nights regularly. Carving out the time is the offering. What you create together in that time is the gift. My partner and I take it in turns and the offering is the gift to be shared together. Alternating from partner practices to deepen our communication, our sexual relationship and sometimes it is giving and receiving sensual touch.
Know that the call into deepening love is an invitation. It’s a change in the unspoken words of your love that you are both seeking. If resistance does arise, I invite you into self-inquiry. A past relationship or childhood dynamic may be sparking the resistance. There are pearls of wisdom to be mined and revered.
Think back to a time where you both created inspired change. It may have been a new home, relocating, a child or a business venture. The alignment, excitement and joy in keeping your combined dream alive allows for the conscious creation of a joyous life.
And keeps the love meter on red hot high.